Again

-----I had gone into town to seduce the saxophone player, maybe. As I settled in at the table and began to ooze charm Carol Ann grabbed me from behind and hid my eyes. The last I'd heard of her were a couple of articles in the local paper describing how her boyfriend had tried to kick her to death. She was quoted, "You're killing me!". He was quoted, "Die!" It was good to feel her arms around me and the warmth I immediately mistook for desire. An easy mistake... or is there more to desire than my usual fantasies?

-----I danced with Renee then moved to Carol Ann's table. She introduced me to her body guards: Simon, her cousin; and Kim, her brother-in-law sent to guaranty her return south to son and new home. Conversation was ridiculous in the bands onslaught. The saxophone player was going beyond herself and singing too, oh so funky in a long-sleeved ersatz leather black mini slashed in the back, and, as always, alluring. But circumstances had changed. With Carol Ann there was much catching up to do. The last few times I had seen her had just been bitter memories. And what had happened between her and the boyfriend? We drank. Her new shoes were under the table. I helped her off with her socks and we were dancing slow and fast and yelling in each others ears endearments and fragments of stories. Of course he's going to jail. Of course she still cares for him, Of course she will never let it happen again. Why did it happen at all? Why why why? The tears had already been cried. Now there was only knowing what had happened and little else. We stayed on my boat, telling the taxi driver to wake us at an all to early hour. I was sucked into sleep by her scintillating reticence... again.

-----Soon enough it was time to get up. In the cab the promised beer was cold. In the motel a planned trip to Seldovia was postponed as high winds had the planes grounded. Simon was into the wine and feeling fine. Kim had the flu and wanted to go to the emergency room. What is it about Carol Ann and hospitals in the morning? Everyone remembered her. Kim was told to take some of these every few hours and rest for three or four days. I could almost hear the hissing in his ears as he sat hunched over and recalled vomiting.

-----We left him at the motel and headed out, with Simon, for a few drinks. In the bar overlooking the harbor all was bright and the booze was delicious. Bourbon and her eyes. Her ragged hair framing a wrinkleless yet ravaged face. She suggested we should go to Seward and we are going to Seward.